


Secrets Best Left Buried

by Arya_Rayne



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Accidental Neglect, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Ienzo grew up as a Nobody, Ienzo-centric (Kingdom Hearts), other characters show up, this has consequences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28971531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arya_Rayne/pseuds/Arya_Rayne
Summary: Ienzo was eight-years-old when he became a Nobody. For almost a whole decade he was Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer. He had grown up as a Nobody... But everyone else seems to have forgotten that in the race to defeat Master Xehanort. And in that, Ienzo was left behind.
Relationships: Ansem the Wise | DiZ & Ienzo, Even & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo & Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts), Xemnas & Zexion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	1. How to Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for... and not for the reason you think.

There was a part of Ienzo which didn't want to be here. Not in front of this computer, not helping these people. This was the part of him which yearned to stand by Xemnas, learn from Xemnas, as he used to, for nine whole years of his life. Ten if he counted the years learning from the white haired apprentice Xehanort as well. Ansem the Wise may have taught him first, but it was his fellow apprentice and then his Superior who had taught him the most. 

But Ienzo couldn't have that anymore. Now he was working to defeat Xemnas. 

_But why?_ The voice of Zexion cried from deep within his heart. _Why do we need to defeat him?_ It was a question that Ienzo always pushed aside. Never acknowledged.

 _Because what Xemnas is doing is wrong._ That was his head's response. Logical, cold, fact. His heart still questioned it. Why was it wrong? He had asked Dilan once and had received a look which had said "you already know why." It had been a wry smile, as if Dilan though Ienzo had been asking in sarcasm. The man had given Ienzo some of Even's old notes and told him to think less and just do what his heart was guiding him to do.

Somehow Ienzo didn't think that Dilan meant "listen to the voice of your Nobody." Ienzo wasn't even sure if Dilan or Aeleaus knew that Zexion's voice was a longing in Ienzo's heart. So Ienzo never raised the question again. He knew what he was supposed to say, and so he said that. His perfect script, hiding the questions and words he wanted to release.

All the while, Ienzo worked and worked, trying to remake Vexen's work from Even's old notes while the man himself was missing. Was he with the Organisation? _Why can't I be back with the Organisation? The Organisation needs replicas... I could help... help Lord Xemnas, like I used to._

Swallowing that thought, Ienzo looked at the data yet again. In it's current state he could do nothing. Without a replica, even the data from Ansem the Wise couldn't be used and Ienzo had no way of creating replicas.

 _"Just summon a dark corridor,"_ Zexion whispered. _"Find the replicas you need, go to Castle Oblivion, go to The World That Never Was, get what you need."_

Yes... Ienzo wanted to do that. But... He hadn't been able to since becoming a Somebody again. Not for lack of trying either, everyday he tried when he woke up, and when he went to sleep. And once the drowning disappointment came, he continued with his day. In a way, Ienzo was jealous of Lea. He could still open the corridors. The blue-silver haired teen's hand went to grip the binding of the Book of Retribution... but all that his fingers closed around was thin air. Shaking his head, Ienzo brought his hand to his chin.

"We've come a long way to reconstructing Roxas' heart," he murmured to himself, using his voice to centre his thoughts and focus on his task at hand. Helping Roxas. "But a vessel... without that... Yeah, right. Bodies don't grow on trees, Ienzo."

 _"But they can be created,"_ Zexion's voice whispered again. _"Vexen had almost perfected his replicas!"_

"It's the back-up plan or nothing now," the teen continued, ignoring the voice of his heart. "But the back-up plan isn't a true solution."

 _"You know what the solution is,"_ Zexion's voice hissed in frustration. Ienzo pushed his heart aside again. _We don't do that anymore, Ienzo. ... but why?_ Alas his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a dark corridor opening behind him, a sound so normal to him that he didn't react. It was to the voice that spoke that he spun around.

"Finally. 'Bout time."

Demyx. Ienzo stared in shock as the blonde haired Nobody stepped out of the dark portal, a bundle of cloth over his shoulder, looking around with fascination, humming with curiosity and appreciation. Ienzo took a moment to let his mind catch up with his heart which was leaping desperately to beg Demyx to step aside and let him through the corridor. _Let me get away from this world._

"Demyx? Is that you?!" He asked instead. That was a safer question. He wasn't a Nobody anymore. He was helping the Guardians of Light. That didn't mean that Zexion didn't cry out to demand answers from a former comrade.

"Hey, Zexion!" Demyx greeted cheerfully, and it was almost refreshing to hear himself being called by his old name. "Long time! How's humanity treatin' ya? I rejoined the Nobodies, but like... I just can't shake the feeling I've been sweet-talked, y'know? We have sooo got to have a chat."

Even that was too much for Zexion to process. Heart and mind trying to catch up with each other, Ienzo pulled away from Demyx with shock.

"Woah, back up. What?"

Why was Demyx even here? Was he here to bring Zexion back to the Organisation? No, they wouldn't get Demyx to do that.

And he wasn't. Demyx was here to bring Master Ansem back. A small part of Ienzo's heart repaired itself as he shook, standing in front of his former Master. With the replica that Demyx had also delivered from Vexen, Ienzo suddenly had work to occupy him mind again, and once again bury _~~his~~_ Zexion's heart's voice.

It didn't escape his notice when Dilan pulled Ansem aside an hour later while Ienzo was working on transferring the digital Roxas's heart into the replica. Nor did he miss the appraising look which Ansem gave him when he returned before smiling and moving to help.

Just a few days after that, Even was back, they were recreating Naminé's body so that her heart could go from Kairi to the replica. It was easy to keep Zexion buried. Isa returned, Xion as well, even Lauriam and Elrena, Somebodies of Marluxia and Larxene, had dropped into Radiant Garden.

But Xehanort, the apprentice, never returned. Braig was still missing too. Xehanort's failure to return hurt more though, because Terra visited Radiant Garden often enough with Ventus and Aqua... But Terra always avoided Ansem and the Apprentices, a fear flashing into his blue eyes.

_"Xemnas... why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?"_

It was clear that the Keyblade wielder remembered fragments of time as Xemnas and the apprentice Xehanort. That knowledge hurt Ienzo the most. In his mind, he knew that it wasn't fair to Terra. Xemnas was his Nobody from the time he was possessed after all, however, in his heart, Ienzo still felt betrayed. Slowly over the next months, the young scientist started to retreat further and further into himself, silently listening to instructions, not understanding why things weren't done as they used to be done. 

No one ever explained. And he never raised the question again.

In his mind, Zexion cried out. Suddenly everything was different. Nothing was the way it used to be. When he became Zexion, it was almost a natural progression in their studies. Yes, the change itself was a shock, but it was a result of their research. Now that he was a Somebody again though all he ever heard anymore was "we don't do that anymore, Ienzo, you know this."

_**Why?** _

But he knew not that he had to keep that question buried deep. He must never ask that question. The others never understood. And so the question stayed with the part of him that was Zexion.... ten years, that was the majority of his life.

It was difficult to suppress that much of his life. He was eighteen, not eight... and his memories from Radiant Garden before becoming a Nobody were starting to fade. It was only a matter of time before he snapped.

If only he had snapped when he was alone and not in front of Even. They were just reading through Xion's files, checking data to make sure the girl was fine, that her replica body was still holding up. Ienzo hadn't even meant to ask the question out loud, it just slipped out as Even was musing to himself about wishing he knew how the extraction of Xehanort's heart was affecting Xion.

"Well why don't we extract her heart and examine it, instead of poking her body?"

It was under his breath, and somewhat sarcastic, tone reflecting that of his time as a Nobody. It was not the time for such sarcasm however, Even was already stressed over maintaining the replica bodies of Roxas, Xion and Naminé as well as monitoring the sleeping Kairi. The blonde man's temper fueled by stress flared.

"Grow up Ienzo," Even snapped in irritation, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he tried to dismiss his headache. "We aren't in the Organization anymore. Don't ask foolish questions, you know why we do it this way."

Ienzo froze in place, realising he had accidentally let his question slip. Had Even said it differently however... the teen may have forgiven him for his stress. But his tone, and his words. _Aren't in the Organization anymore?_ Does he think Ienzo doesn't know that?! And those words again... _you know why we do it this way._ It took but a moment for these thoughts to wash over Ienzo before he finally let go of the walls he put around Zexion's, around his, heart. 

"... No, I don't know," Ienzo said quietly, harshly, voice dripping with the sarcasm and anger that Zexion had kept in his heart. "You've never explained this to me... stop telling me stuff and assuming I already know why!! Why don't we do it that way anymore?? Why was that way wrong?!? You tell me constantly to grow up, act my age; well guess what?!?! I GREW UP AS ZEXION, AS A NOBODY!!!"

His voice had raised to a yell, he was breathing heavily, and he had thrown his hand to the side in his anger. Ienzo glared at Even, no longer pushing Zexion down into his subconscious. He was Zexion, and he wanted to know why everything was suddenly different to how he had grown up. It took a few moments for Ienzo to calm down enough to realise that Even had gone pale and was staring at a point where his hand was gesturing. Ienzo looked to his side and saw a swirling Corridor of Darkness... clearly summoned by his own desire. 

It was then that Ienzo realised what he had said and to who. He had just laid out his deepest, darkest thoughts, to a teacher who didn't even realise what had been going on in Ienzo's head. In his heart. The teenager's mouth ran dry before he backed up a few steps. He glanced between his mentor and the portal before he ran into the darkness. 

"Wait! Ienzo!!"

He didn't look back as the corridor closed behind him. His heart guided him through the darkness, and he didn't care that he wasn't wearing his old coat. Now his mentors would know... Ienzo was Zexion, even if he was a Somebody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I present my introspection into Ienzo and the people around him. He's an interesting character, but a lot of the time it feels like everyone around him, and maybe the devs themselves, have forgotten that he was a kid when he became a Nobody. So I wanted to write out his thoughts to everything... looking at the game through Sora's eyes, we don't get to see the feelings of others unless it's specifically made clear to us. So here we are, with my take on Ienzo ^^ enjoy!


	2. Desperation And Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo ran off and left everyone reeling... it took a few days to follow after him.

Even stared at the place where Ienzo had summoned and run through a Dark Corridor, something the boy should not have been able to do, his hand still in front of him from his desperate reach for the clearly hurting teenager, boy. His mind was racing and his face pale. Shaking, Even fell to his knees, trying to process what had just happened.

_"I GREW UP AS ZEXION, AS A NOBODY!!!"_

The deafening silence which followed that had been filled with so many thoughts as Even had stared at the Dark Corridor summoned by built up emotions. _Oh Ienzo,_ the scientist thought with despair, _how did we forget you this badly? Suffering with our own memories as we are... we forgot that you too would be struggling in your own way..._ Even's hand came up to his face just as Ansem the Wise ran in.

The elder King crouched beside Even and placed a hand on his Apprentice's shoulder, asking if he was alright, calling for Dilan and Aeleus, asking about Ienzo. Even's mouth was dry, how could he explain this to them? How could he explain this to the man who had promised to do better by all his apprentices, how could he explain this to the apprentices who had been through the same Organisation as Ienzo? Ansem's voice cut through his thoughts.

"Focus on me, Even," he said. "What happened? Where is Ienzo?"

"We failed him, Master," Even replied around the lump which had grown in his throat. " We never noticed... we never saw...!"

"You never saw Ienzo's struggle to adjust to being back," Ansem stated as fact, just as Dilan and Aeleus entered the room. "So caught up in your own regrets you never realised that Ienzo's struggle is different from your own."

The three Apprentices stared at their Master with varying degrees of dismay. Ansem sighed and stood, pulling Even to his feet as well. He took one look at his Apprentices and gestured to the door, leading the shaken Even out of the room, while Dilan and Aeleus followed behind. He took them to the kitchens, devoid of staff, and sat Even on a chair.

"This unfortunately was not something I could simply bring to your attention," Ansem explained with a quiet voice as he set about making tea. "I did try, but you always assured me that it was fine, despite the fact it clearly wasn't. It is not something I can teach Ienzo myself either. For ten years he learned from you, and the one you call Xemnas. Anything from me would stand in conflict to his learnings of a decade, he wouldn't accept the correction from me, it has to come from you."

As he set down the teapot, Ansem looked up at his three Apprentices.

"And so, _Vexen, Xaldin, Lexeaus,_ I ask you; how do you plan on helping him?"

Even's mouth ran dry as he looked upon his teacher who looked back with sorrowful regret. There was nothing Even could say. _Vexen..._ Even wanted so dearly to let Vexen fade into the past. But now his teacher was here evoking that name and it felt like a reprimand. But it wasn't. It was a simple reminder of who they were... to Ienzo.

\-----

Even found he had a dilemma. It was true that as Vexen he had taught Zexion when he could, but in truth it was Xemnas whom the boy had followed around. It was Xemnas who had taught Zexion, had taught Ienzo, and as much as a Nobody could, Zexion had idolized Xemnas. It was the Superior of the In-Between who had taken Zexion aside for different projects. The Replica Program had been Vexen's project, but that was merely one project out of many which had been undertaken.

Xemnas had a charisma that Even, and Vexen, did not. Twelve individuals had chosen to follow the man, for he knew the words to speak to get them to do so. In the face of this knowledge, Even felt insignificant. Ten years, ten years of Ienzo's education, filled by words no one ever protested. How differently the Organisation may have ended had Xemnas taken on teaching Roxas and Xion instead of passing them onto Axel.

Even pushed that thought aside, not wanting to entertain the past or Vexen any further. Besides, Ienzo had not returned yet. That was the second great dilemma; no one in the castle could use the Corridors anymore. There was no way to chase after Ienzo, save talking to those who could, but even then, it wasn't known where Ienzo had run off to. And thus, as to not send the Guardians of Light on a vast search and find mission which was as broad as the worlds Zexion had traveled, no one on Radiant Garden sent word to the Keyblade Wielders. Holding his head in his hands, Even sat there trying and failing to find a solution to all these problems.

"We could call upon Terra's knowledge," Aeleus suggested, having walked in to see Even in despair. "Xemnas would know."

"I will not do that to Terra," Even replied, not looking up, causing his voice to be muffled. "I do not blame him for wanting to avoid us. Ienzo will return to us, we don't need to ask Terra to relive those memories."

"And what if Ienzo still doesn't come back?"

It was a question that Even refused to consider. He stood up, fury filling his gaze as he glared up at the taller man. It took him a few seconds to formulate his response, trying to at least remain articulate.

"Of course he will come back!" The scientist spat at the guard. "We are his family!!"

Even spun on his heel and stalked away. He could feel Aeleus staring at him as he walked away, silent and pitying.

"Are we though?"

The blonde scientist sneered and didn't respond. What kind of question was that? Of course they were his family.

_"Grow up Ienzo."_

_"I GREW UP AS ZEXION!!"_

\-----

_Aqua,_

_Even doesn't wish to ask, but we cannot sit around and do nothing. Ienzo has gone missing, off world missing. Things fell out of control and we made a mistake. Please don't mention this to Terra, we don't want to force him to remember Xemnas anymore than we wish to recall our own Nobody lives. We're sorry to cause you trouble._

_\- Dilan_

_\-----_

_Dilan,_

_I have many questions, about Ienzo, and about Terra and Xemnas, but I shall refrain from asking over Gummiphone. I will be on Radiant Garden tomorrow and I will find you then. I'll be there with Riku. Terra is currently on a mission with Lea._

_\- Aqua_

_\------_

_Aqua,_

_I'll wait for you in the square... where you fought Terra._

\-----

There was a certain chill which followed Even after he woke up. Ienzo still had not returned he had been missing for a day and a half now. Where was he? Even did his best to stay calm but his mind kept turning to what he had said to Ienzo.

_"Grow up, we don't do it that way anymore."_

_Grow up_

_**GROW UP** _

Ienzo was eighteen. He was grown up. And he had grown up as Zexion. _Ienzo, where did you go? How did we fail you so badly?_

Even stumbled and dropped the books he was holding, catching himself on the wall. He brought his hand up to his face. He tried to summon up his own Dark Corridor, as he used to, tried to disappear into darkness as Ienzo had. But as always, nothing came of it. There was no answer of cold power, just taunting stillness.

"When Dilan told me what happened, I didn't quite believe it," a soft voice said gently, making Even look to see Aqua picking up his dropped books. "But being told and actually seeing are two different things. May I ask where you were headed?"

The scientist was barely able to answer with Ansem's study before the woman smiled and stood up, walking towards the aforementioned room, taking his books with him. Even called out after her, but she didn't pause, leaving the man with nothing else to do except follow her. He asked her questions as to why she was here but she did not answer. Aqua smiled and said she would explain once they had reached Ansem's study.

Riku was there, talking to Ansem and Dilan, and clarity struck Even.

"You called the Guardians of Light?" he asked, his voice slightly strangled.

"We can't do nothing, Even," Dilan replied.

"We'll be doing nothing anyway!" Even snapped. "We don't know where he is, and we can't leave Radiant Garden ourselves!"

"What if he went to the Castle That Never Was?"

Riku's question knocked the fight from Even. There was no way, no way at all, Ienzo wouldn't go there, that was a place of bad memories, a reminder of the worst years of their lives. _But not for Ienzo,_ a tiny voice in the back of the scientist's head whispered. It was that voice that Riku echoed.

"For Ienzo, he is Zexion still," the silverette continued. "He remembers Radiant Garden, but the Castle That Never Was is most likely where he considers to be his home. From what Dilan told Aqua and I, here he was confused, he wants something normal. I... I understand that feeling."

The teen shook his head and Even was briefly reminded of the boy's time under the tutelage and control of Maleficent and Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness. Was there a part of Riku as well, that longed for a time gone? A hidden darkness to not tell anyone. Even let his head drop, blonde hair covering his face. Ienzo had run away, it was time to stop denying it. He had failed Ienzo badly and all he could do bow was accept the offered help. Aqua stepped forward and placed a hand on Even's shoulder.

"I know you don't want to," she hummed. "But we're going to ask Terra for his knowledge from his time as Xemnas. It's... not your choice to make, and I think you'll find Terra will want to help more than you realise."

"Come with us, Even," Riku invited, holding out a hand. "I think you have unfinished business with the Land of Departure."

_Castle Oblivion._

\-----

Messages from Aqua weren't strange. They contained updates, seeking of advice, general discussion. Messages asking for him and Lea to return early, however, those were rare, almost never happening. That's why he was now on the Gummiship with Lea, returning to the Land of Departure, discussing potential causes for this call back. For some reason, a deep pit had formed in his stomach, and he was almost certain whatever the reason was, it had to do with Xemnas.

When he shared his thought with Lea, the red haired man gave him a shakey smile and suggested that Ienzo had finally demanded his attention. Lea had been trying to lighten the mood a bit, but that didn't stop the wave of guilt that had crashed over Terra. He knew he should have approached Ansem the Wise and his apprentices earlier with his memories, but fear kept him away... he'd already hurt them enough...

The pair of Keyblade wielders made their way back to the Land of Departure as quickly as possible, informing Aqua when they were landing the Gummiship. Then they walked to the room where Eraqus used to address his three apprentices. Aqua was standing in the room with Riku and they were watching... Even pace the floor back and forth? That certainly was even less expected than the summons home. That pit in Terra's stomach sunk further. What had happened?

In between calming breaths, Even told his story, of how Ienzo had withdrawn into himself after the Keyblade War, and what the younger man had said before running into a portal of darkness. Terra knew where Ienzo had gone before Riku shared the theory that he had run to the Castle That Never Was. _Of course he ran there,_ Xemnas whispered in his mind. _Where else would Zexion go?_

However as he shuddered the thought away, Lea spoke up.

"So basically, Terra should go after him," he said, as if the answer was obvious. "Or more accurately, _Xemnas_ should go after him."

Terra's eyes widened, and he took a step back. What did Lea mean? He wasn't Xemnas anymore, he had the hair length, nor had he regained the decade lost to his possession, but he wasn't Xemnas. Terra's hair was brown, eyes blue--

"How much more are you going to let Xehanort steal from you, Terra?" Lea, no, Axel challenged. "He already stole your body from you once, are you really going to let him steal it again with your Nobody? Those memories are yours. What would Xehanort do, knowing Ienzo was missing, with Xemnas' memories?"

"I don't..." the brown haired wielder started before trailing off. He could see where Lea was going. And he already knew his answer to Lea's next question.

"And what are you going to do with his memories?"

A portal of Light was hard to summon, and corridors of Darkness wouldn't open on the Land of Departure. But Terra resolved himself to get to the Castle That Never Was. Lea nodded. Even stepped forward looking hesitant.

"Please... find Ienzo," he said, swallowing his pride. "And... help him understand what's changed from the Organization."

\-----

Ienzo sat on his own throne in the Room Where Nothing Gathers, the old Round Room. He was shaking, gripping the edges of the throne, staring across at where Saïx and Demyx used to sit. There were even Dusks here still who answered his call, albeit only after he affirmed he was Zexion. He was Zexion, he knew this. He was no longer denying it!

_So why did sitting here, on this throne, make him shake; what was this feeling in his chest which made him want to curl up and cry?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter was all about the reactions, you can bet your socks that next chapter will be the healing. It was hard getting everything I wanted in this chapter, but I think I got everything. Two reasons that this is updated before BSR; I have access to my phone more often than my laptop, so I can type Tumblr fics easier that my Google Drive fics. Second reason is... I discovered that my plan for chapter 32 was incomplete so I only just reached the planned section of that XD hopefully I will have BSR chapter 32 updated next weekend.


End file.
